me

On Facebook I said that I missed the me I used to be.

I used to be fun, easygoing, positive, happy.

Now, I am negative. Cynical. Stressed out most of the time. Judgmental. Bitter.

But most of all, I used to be passionate about so many things. Writing, acting, music, reading, creating, cooking, doing new things, being with people, sex!

Now... I don't really feel passionate about anything. I've forgotten who I am, what makes me me. And I need to get back to that, to who I am, to what makes me the fireball of positivity and energy that I can be.

But how do I do it?

I keep blaming my job for doing it, for crushing me. And it does play a huge part. But if I quit, will that solve anything, or will I just be a poor cynical Libby? I'll have to find a new job. But where do I look? I've forgotten what I used to be so passionate about, what I used to be good at. And how do I market that to employers?

I hate this. Feeling like this. And needing to complain about it. I'm blessed to have a good-paying, steady job. To have health. To have a loving husband and kitty. But I'm so bitter. I can't appreciate it. I just want to be me again. And I'm so scared that this is me now. No going back.