some things

There's a spider who has set up his home in my living room. I am well aware of him, and of his friends scattered throughout my apartment. One by the front door, one by the radiator, one in the bathroom. More that I do not know of. But they are spindly-legged and their webs, at least one of them, is littered with the drained bodies of tiny ants, so I leave them be and thank them for being hungry and having sticky webs.



Ben and I go grocery shopping a lot. The employees must recognize us, which I imagine would be hard in a large grocery store with lots of customers. But I suppose that is what you get when your diet consists largely of vegetables and fruits. I love having fresh fruits and veggies on hand at most times. I feel like I can just whip up anything to eat. The other day I made corn on the cob and mashed sweet potatoes. Tonight I'm going to make a veggie stew to serve over mashed (regular) potatoes.



The Olympic swim trials are happening right now. It has been making my job very, very, very busy. The same people have been coming to Panera every day that I've been working. Literally. I mean, we have a lot of returning customers... but usually they come like once a week. I feel like if I were in a different city, I would want to explore the unique eateries and attractions that place had to offer, as opposed to going to a chain restaurant.



I'm too mellow for competitive sports. I'm watching the gymnastic trials right now, and I feel sad knowing that most of the athletes there will not be going to the Olympics. I mean, their lives will go on, but I just feel sad for them. I want everyone to win.



And in a way, I'm jealous of those athletes competing to go to the Olympics. Not of their skills, but because they know what they want to do. I'm lost. I don't want to be a manager at Panera... but here I am. But I don't know what I want. It's the same thing I've been saying over and over again, I know. But how can I not have a dream?

kid

In many ways, I don't feel like an adult.

I'm married, I am a manager, I pay my own bills.

But I still feel like a little kid sometimes, like I don't know how to do things.