talkin bout my generation

I think that our generation is just better at rolling with the punches. I mean, we grew up with 9/11 (and as much as one might hate to admit it, it did affect us), we've seen the price of candy bars go from 50 cents to $1.09 (and the price of gas from I can't even remember to over $4.00), technology development and use went from little to everything, the recession was in full swing for most of us before or shortly after we entered the work force. We're a generation of an unstable world, one that hasn't stood still for a second. So while older people continue to evaluate the recession, fearing for their jobs, we evolve. We don't feel the drive to get a nine to five job. We find creative ways to make money and stick to a budget that we've never known not to stick to, and might not even be consciously aware of having. Because when you've grown up in an unstable world, you learn to wiggle with it. I think older generations need to learn from this. How many stories have I seen about someone who has been laid off and has been unemployed for several months? It's called looking for a job not in your field. Wiggle with it. It might not pay as much, but money is money, honey.


I wonder what kids now will be like when they're our age. I wonder what kids, who like the one I nanny, are constantly surrounded by technology, already know how to use an iPad at 15 months old, will be like.

this day

Today I'm feeling very good about life.
Maybe it is because
-it is a beautiful day, cold like fall, but sunny
-I have the day off
-the sky is bluuuueeee with some clouds which drift in and out, like in minecraft (ok so, this is like the first reason...)
-I have to work tomorrow, and then I get to have four days off, go to one of my past homes, see some family (only in-laws lol), and see Maggie!
-I'm not pregnant
-I'm sitting in a cafe in one of the prettiest parts of the city, in my opinion
-I'm with my husband, and soon my sister
-Minecraft updated today, a huge update we've (as in everyone who plays the game) been anxiously awaiting
-I get to use Charlie, the new computer Ben and I got, to play said updated Minecraft, which makes it even more exciting because I can play the game on "render distance far," which means that I actually get to see!!!
-I don't have to keep Charlie plugged in all the time
-I don't care about not having a plan for life, not that I cared before. But for some reason I feel really good about it today. Free. Able to do fucking anything. It's like I have the whole world in my hands. A world of possibilities. Boom.

So that's why it's a good day :)

timing

Present, past, future. The order in which I think. This is probably aided by the fact that I don't know my schedule on a week-to-week basis that far ahead of time. And because I know that I won't be working at Panera for the rest of my life (let's hope) but I don't know what's next.

But I have been thinking about "the future" lately. About what I want to do. I guess my main "problem" is that I don't want to be a literary scholar, which is a large part of what my degree prepared me for. I'd rather work in the creative parts. Creative writing or journalism, which I'm not as "well-trained" for. For which I am not as "well-trained." So... the future could include getting more training in one of those fields. Or maybe something completely different.

When I was still in high school, I entertained the thought of being a nurse. I like to help people, and what profession does so more than nursing? So... I might go back to school to be a nurse. Someday. Probably when Ben is done with his masters. Complete change...

And I still wonder if I wasted my money going to college. I know that I got a lot of good experiences from it. Friends, plays, band, intellectual growth, etc. But I am at the exact same point as I would have been if I had gone straight from high school into the work force. Except poorer, having spent all that money on my education and not earning any, save for a few meager dollars in the summer months. And more jaded, knowing that I could be, and should be, doing much, much more with my life. And more enriched from higher education, yes, but that plays into the poorer and jaded parts.

But... you know, for all the complaining I do, I'm not that unhappy. In fact, the only time I feel unhappy is when it's really busy at work when it shouldn't be, like at 3:00 pm- it just shouldn't be busy in between lunch and dinner. I don't know why it makes me so angry, but it does. Or like 10 minutes before close. That's just inconsiderate. Especially if you are ordering a lot of food and planning on eating it inside the restaurant. But other than that, I like my life a lot. I get days off in the middle of the week, which is super nice because everyone else is working! I don't have any serious commitment to my job, other than the fact that I want to keep it for the moneys, so I don't take my work home with me that much. I come home to loving husband. I live close to my sister. I have plenty of things to occupy my free time, although sometimes I forget that. And etc.

smh...

Sometimes I think the worst thing about working in the food service industry is seeing how much food people waste. They just leave half a salad uneaten on their table and leave. Can't even bother to throw it away themselves.

But today, it was worse. Some lady ordered a you-pick-two with a Caesar salad and chicken noodle soup. A few minutes later, she comes up and says that she needs to exchange it because she doesn't like it. Last I checked, restaurants sort of have a no return policy. But of course, I have to do what she asks. Plus the cashier told her to tell me to do it. This bothers me a lot because A) it is such a simple meal- not a lot of flavor or at least not a lot of unexpected and/or strange ones; B) she chose to order it, how can she not like it; C) how can she not feel guilty about wasting an entire meal (seriously, like one bite missing) when so many people in the world, and even this city, can't afford to eat every day, let alone at Panera? And okay, what do I expect her to do? She just spent at least 7 dollars on food she doesn't like. But, can't you just suffer through the meal and know for next time not to order that? It's not like the food is bad. Nothing we serve is disgusting. It's all eatable. Or edible, whatever. Or hell, she could have just exchanged half of it, replacing either the salad or the soup, instead of both! Does it make me a bad person to judge this woman? Maybe. But... just saying from the numerous people who search for food in our dumpsters, she's being a little.... self-centered.