crabapple

the crabapple petals are falling
drifting down like wind-blown ballerinas
a fragrant spring snow covers the ground

it is time to be wed.

standing in my kitchen
pineapple discs dripping juice down my arms
and down my chin
the perfect day
if only for a sticky moment

peep

I do not see the world when I look through my peephole
just my neighbor's door-- 10
it is dim
when I move my eye around, I cannot even see the stairs or who is running up them
I only see the inside of the peephole
which looks much longer than it ought to
with scraped edges as though my eye was a blade

It isn't as though I expect to see the world when I peer through it
but more than just my neighbor's door-- 10-- would be nice

I suppose it is good that I cannot see more
or else I'd take to spying
standing at the door trying not to breathe or creak
as I watch what people do
just going up and down the stairs, I suppose
but how can I know if all I can see is my neighbor's door-- 10

Helix

What makes a person what she is?
A mass of DNA, RNA, experiences, collective unconscious.
And what if she wants to change "who" she is?
Unravel the spirals, the memories, reform and rebuild.

So is it possible for someone to actually change? Is it possible for someone to say, "I'm going to stop being so selfish/mean/unhappy"? Or are we just stuck with who we are?

mememe

Taking another me-day. Because I deserve it.

Here's the thing... you know the Occupy movement and the whole 99% thing? And you know the people who are not the 1% but don't like the movement and post pictures with their handwritten things that say stuff like, "I'm the 99% but instead of complaining I work hard all day and don't expect handouts?" etc? Well, I don't believe that people should have to have more than one job to survive. It sucks. I don't believe that people should have to work to put themselves through college. That would suck.

I'm not claiming to know everything about the Occupy movement, but I'm pretty sure that one of their things is that it's not fair for the 99% to have to work their asses off day in and day out, just to make ends meet, just because some idiots on Wall Street fucked up our economy and shit.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that every now and then, I like to pretend that I only have one job. It makes my life a lot better. I'm sick of feeling like I need to be working alllllllllllll of the time. See my last post.

Therefore, today is a me-day. I'm not writing, I'm not making sandwiches. I'm sitting, because I just got paid to stand up for about 40 hours this week. I'm enjoying my down time.

Yahoo!

Here's some pictures from my photo shoot(s) with Brody

Here I am, Life!

Today, I'm taking a me-day. Well, more of a me-morning. I stayed in bed until I wanted to get out, not until I thought I should get up and write a few articles for work. I read some Yahoo articles. I had a photo shoot with Brody. I pampered him a little bit. I made coffee. I wrote the rent check. I have not worked. And I think that's okay.

This week is about boundaries. It's about knowing that it's more than okay for me not to work before I go to work and work when I get home from work. It's about taking time for myself, doing what I want to do, not being a slave to money. It's about loving myself and loving those in my life.

Here are things that I want to do more of:
Creative writing
Baking
Cooking
Reading
Playing the cello (which I finally did the other day!)

It's about reclaiming myself, who I want to be. It's about being the happy, spontaneous, goofy person that I used to be before employment embittered me.

--

I no longer feel the need to write,
the creative juices drained from my body
like blood from a corpse.
Where is an elixir that I can drink
to make me a sponge?