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My new challenge for myself is to always tell people when they are doing a good job, whether it is by filling out a comment card, tipping really well, or leaving an online review.

I know from firsthand experience that when you are trying really hard to be awesome and treat your customers so well and there's no thank-you, that it sucks. And at Panera, we ask people to fill out a survey that's at the bottom of every receipt! So it's really easy.. but people don't do it very often. They even have a chance to win $2000!

So, I've decided to leave positive feedback as often as I can.

For instance, today, I tipped my hairdresser for a free bang trim that took two minutes. And when Ben and I were travelling on Christmas Eve, we stopped at a gas station around 9 p.m. It was busy (and a holiday) but all the workers were friendly. I sent in a comment card.

You know that feeling you get when someone compliments you? That feeling of pride or surprise surging up from your depths, smacking a smile on your face? Don't you want to give that to as many people as you can?

Fear #2

My second biggest fear is developing an allergy to something that I love. I've been heard of that happening. I think that allergies that develop later in life will just suck no matter what, but especially if it was something good. Like soy. Soy is in everything. Or gluten. If I became allergic to gluten, my life might be over.

fear

I think my biggest fear is not finding what I'm best at-- that thing which defines me, sets me apart, my passion.

And what if it is something that I won't ever try or have the chance to? Like... ballet, or being a doctor, or meteorology? And then I'll never know.

But I suppose someday, I'll know what my life's passion is. And I suppose that it is already something that I know, something that I do. I just have to clear away the other things.

b-day suiting up

My birthday is soon. Wednesday. I have the day off from Panera. Last year I worked. And I took in scotcheroos to share with my co-workers. Because I'm awesome.

Birthdays, after a certain age, never really seemed too exciting. Of course. Everyone knows that. But some of my friends (read: not good friends, but more than acquaintances) still to this day, even though they are around my age, are like OMG IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK GONNA CELEBRATE ALL WEEK IT'S ALL ABOUT MEEEE!

I'm not into that.

I do, however, miss getting a little excited for my birthday. I miss the parties I threw in high school where my mom and I built tunnel systems out of cardboard boxes in our house. One was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle themed. Everyone got a TMNT-inspired mask in either blue, orange, purple, and red when they came. I was dressed as Splinter, the rat sensei. One year, it was superhero themed and everyone I invited got a unique superhero name for which they had to make up powers and a costume. For both parties, my guests had to enter through the refrigerator box labyrinth. Those parties were a lot of fun.

And my 21st was fun. Drinking in my apartment on a dry campus with a bunch of friends. Very drunk.

But, for the past couple of years, it's just sort of been... oh it's my birthday? Cool. Another year closer to death.

Maybe this year will be better.

Brody is my fave

Either Brody loves the taste or smell of the floss I use, or my fingers ooze some sort of hormonal delight when my period is about to start and he can't get enough of it, licking and nibbling on my index fingers.

Eight hours is just too long for Brody not to be the center of my attention. Really, it's more like six. At that point, he'll start meowing in my face and pawing at me if I don't respond. He won't stop until I cuddle with him, which when I'm still sleep-logged, is not quite enough-- so when I finally actually wake up, he'll meow and meow and meow and lead me to the carpet where he circles and plops and looks up at me with his bedroom eyes. Or maybe living room eyes. If I don't sit on the carpet and devote a few minutes to petting and scratching him, he'll repeat the whole process. And in those few moments, our life is perfect. Nothing but me and him, cuddling and purring and loving.

And I don't even mind when he wakes me up with the need to be touched, because I understand it. Both of our love languages are touch. Sometimes, he'll even stretch out a little paw and lay it gently on some part of me, just to touch me or make sure that I'm there. And he'll spoon with me, putting his little head on my shoulder or in the crook of my elbow.

And I'll kiss his soft fur and smell his cat smell and I'll fall asleep.

Resolutions

1) Don't sleep in as often
2) Read more
3) Play my cello more
4) Try new recipes
5) Start knitting again
6) Learn how to play guitar
7) Continue to eliminate foods which are highly processed and full of preservatives from my diet. This might include soda, which will be very hard.
8) Eat fewer sweets (That kinda goes with #7)
9) Start exercising regularly (Doesn't that have to be included on everyone's resolution list???)

chart

It is the end of the year and everyone is talking about everything good and everything bad. So I will too.

It was a year of change and learning.

I learned how far I could get pushed until I snapped, when I just had to bite back at a customer or cry for a minute in the back. This was a good thing, I think.

I got married, and while this is a huge life-change, I don't feel much different. They say the fist year of marriage is the hardest, but the first six months seem fine. Although, we did seem to squabble about silly things more earlier in our marriage. This was a good thing.

We moved to a brand new city. This was mostly a good thing. I like it here. I feel like if I were the type of person to go out and experience life, this city would offer a lot. But, I miss being closer to family and actually having friends. But I love being in the same city as Mandy.

I feel like I got promoted at work. They like me here. They know I'm a hard worker and they appreciate me. This is very nice. Not that they didn't appreciate me at Shiloh, but I feel like I have more responsibility here.

I started baking bread and cooking more from scratch. Very good thing. I love baking bread. I love feeling the dough transform from a sticky glob to a smooth, elastic ball. I love knowing exactly what is going into my body. I love chopping vegetables. I love filling my kitchen, apartment, and building with the smell of delicious, healthy, homecooked food.

I started a garlic garden. I don't expect to get bulbs from it, but it was fun, and it's something that I want to do- especially when I have a yard. Good thing.

I got a cat. Good thing. I have never had an indoor cat for very long, and I forgot how nice it is. He is cuddly and sweet, the perfect cat for Ben and me.

I learned what it's like to be passed over. I suppose a lot of people have felt that way in the past few years. I hate not being able to get a job, especially when I know that I would be good at whatever I'm applying for. Not a good thing, but maybe it is in someway (like it's good that I don't have a real job, because I hate working...).

What else happened this year? I can't remember January through May. I worked at Bread Co. and the Y. I lived with two boys.

I loved teaching swim lessons.

I didn't love living with boys who I couldn't be naked or gassy around, but it wasn't horrible.

This is boring me.